Feeling Free, Serene, or Nervous

Recently, I was rummaging through my notes and I came across a question that I thought would make an interesting topic to write about.  Sadly, I don’t remember where I copied it from, but it definitely is a prompt for writers.

What makes me feel free, serene, or full of nervous excitement?  On the very surface, this question looks like it would be very easy to answer since it is about the “pursuit of happiness.”

At first, I felt anxious about answering this question.  If you asked me this question 5 years ago, I would have said without hesitation that the answer is drawing.  Unfortunately, that answer is no longer true, and that makes me feel very sad.

For the most part, I do enjoy drawing very much, but it feels like such a chore to do lately.  I now struggle to draw a picture where a few years ago I could draw and piant with ease.  I think this is because I spent alot of time and energy creating pictures that pleased everyone else and not any pictures that really pleased me.

So now I try to sketch or draw those things that I find enjoyable to me like typography.  Currently, I find myself having a good time drawing letters, words, and/or phrases in either unusual or usual looking letters.

Next, I thought about other things that I do that make me feel free, serene, or full of nervous energy.  What came to mind is the writing that I do, which I think qualifies as a “pursuit of happiness.”  Truth to be told, until recently, I’ve never thought of pursuing writing as a career goal.  However, I did keep a personal journal creating a random record of my thoughts, and observations.  I even took time to choose my journals with care, after all who wants to write in an ugly book?

I also find myself having fun choosing my words with care.  Finding the right word to say; or the right word that is pleasing to the eyes; or even pleasing to the intellect is very demanding.  ;) Ultimately, I find that writing gives me a chance to illustrate who I am to myself and others-- it challenges me to think about who I am, and what I know.

But when I think about my true passion that make me feel free, serene, or floods me with nervous energy; I think of reading-- especially well written books.  I’d say more about this, but I think I’d only be repeating what’s already been said.

I am the 10 year old little girl who falls down the hole chasing the ever elusive white rabbit.  I am Kunta Kinte as I run through the forest looking for what I have lost.  I am the narrator of my life.

TAGS: notes, question, freedom, pursuit, happiness, drawing, typography, writing, journals, reading