Not Finding Myself, but Creating Myself Instead.

Good Afternoon!

I went to the library yesterday, and I found out today is George Bernard Shaw Day. I Googled it of course, and I couldn’t find any example of anyone actually celebrating George Bernard Shaw’s birthday.  What I did find, however, is a page that shows me what a rebel he was, and a quote to think about:

“Life isn’t about finding yourself.  Life is about creating yourself.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

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R E L A T E D   P O S T S

***UPDATE: YYYY-MM-DD THH:MM:SS-04:00***

***REVISED*** yyyy-mm-dd Thh:mm:ss-04:00

Feeling Free, Serene, or Nervous

Recently, I was rummaging through my notes and I came across a question that I thought would make an interesting topic to write about.  Sadly, I don’t remember where I copied it from, but it definitely is a prompt for writers.

What makes me feel free, serene, or full of nervous excitement?  On the very surface, this question looks like it would be very easy to answer since it is about the “pursuit of happiness.”

At first, I felt anxious about answering this question.  If you asked me this question 5 years ago, I would have said without hesitation that the answer is drawing.  Unfortunately, that answer is no longer true, and that makes me feel very sad.

For the most part, I do enjoy drawing very much, but it feels like such a chore to do lately.  I now struggle to draw a picture where a few years ago I could draw and piant with ease.  I think this is because I spent alot of time and energy creating pictures that pleased everyone else and not any pictures that really pleased me.

So now I try to sketch or draw those things that I find enjoyable to me like typography.  Currently, I find myself having a good time drawing letters, words, and/or phrases in either unusual or usual looking letters.

Next, I thought about other things that I do that make me feel free, serene, or full of nervous energy.  What came to mind is the writing that I do, which I think qualifies as a “pursuit of happiness.”  Truth to be told, until recently, I’ve never thought of pursuing writing as a career goal.  However, I did keep a personal journal creating a random record of my thoughts, and observations.  I even took time to choose my journals with care, after all who wants to write in an ugly book?

I also find myself having fun choosing my words with care.  Finding the right word to say; or the right word that is pleasing to the eyes; or even pleasing to the intellect is very demanding.  ;) Ultimately, I find that writing gives me a chance to illustrate who I am to myself and others-- it challenges me to think about who I am, and what I know.

But when I think about my true passion that make me feel free, serene, or floods me with nervous energy; I think of reading-- especially well written books.  I’d say more about this, but I think I’d only be repeating what’s already been said.

I am the 10 year old little girl who falls down the hole chasing the ever elusive white rabbit.  I am Kunta Kinte as I run through the forest looking for what I have lost.  I am the narrator of my life.

TAGS: notes, question, freedom, pursuit, happiness, drawing, typography, writing, journals, reading

Strength, Courage, Confidence vs. Fear

"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face." --Eleanor Roosevelt

Until recently, I never saw fear as a dare to be vanquished. I more readily saw it as an insurmountable wall to be climbed over. I had always believed the risk of failing was too great for me to try new things, or to knock over roadblocks to my goals. As a result, I hated myself for being afraid to fail. What helped me to change my attitude about my fears was, oddly enough of all things, a craft show profiling a sculptor about his creative process.

After I heard them, the sculptor's words stuck with me for the rest of the day. He said, "I enjoy creating sculptures, because it challenges me to come up with new solutions." Rather than seeing problems whenever he had a piece of sculpture that was not "working," he would see each work-in-progress instead as a "challenge" to overcome. What a difference a word makes.

Hearing the sculptor's insight about his creative process has helped me to see my difficulties with producing essays for my blog, and short stories to be submitted for publication as "challenges" to master in my quest to become a published writer. Whereas before, I was always afraid my sentences were too long. Or maybe they were too short? Did I put the clause in the right place? Am I telling too much information? Am I telling too little information? Am I wasting my time becoming a writer?

Now, in lieu of being frustrated with my seeming lack of progress as a writer, I step back-- take a fresh look at why I'm frustrated, and I devise a plan to move me past my frustration. I no longer feel miles away from achieving my personal goal to be a professional writer. Instead, I find myself with a plethora of ideas to write.

My new found ease with my creation process for writing has inspired me to re-think my fears and failures in other areas of my life. Consequently, I feel more energetic, and I complete my tasks in a more timely manner. Plus, I find myself making new goals to conquer. The fear I feel is never far from my thoughts, but I no longer feel overwhelmed by the prospect of failure.

Crusie and Mayer's Don't Look Down (L Words)

Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer did such an awesome job creating this romantic suspense about movie director Lucy Armstrong who teams up with U.S. Special Forces Army Captain J.T. Wilder to solve a mystery, I’ve added them both to my short list of writers I buy automatically without question.  Yummy! 

***UPDATE: 2011-02-28T22:05:00-05:00***

added image & link